Genuine Beauty

Years ago it was craft time at a women’s retreat with the wonderful women from Central, worship@central.org.  I love opportunities to create. Our project: Paint and decorate a wooden scarecrow.  As silly as it sounds, I took my time painting his eyes, nose and smile, choosing fabric and buttons, finding just the right hat, placing the straw exactly where it should go.  To me, a mom of young children, this was therapy!  He was perfect, just as I planned.  I was proud of what I created.  We displayed our masterpieces in the back of the room.  They were all so adorable!  Each scarecrow had its own unique style and, in a way, personality.  Every year this little 12 inch scarecrow is a part of my fall décor.  He reminds me of a priceless lesson I learned that I want my daughters, and all the women in my life, including you, to know as well.

As a teenager I often focused on my imperfections, comparing myself to other girls, flipping through the pages of teen magazines seeing what I wish I could be.  I was never quite content with how God made me.  However, shortly after my stay in the hospital I was put on a high dose of steroids which made my face swell and caused me to gain weight.  At the same time, I started monthly chemotherapy which resulted in my hair falling out.

I remember standing in front of the mirror, so embarrassed of my appearance.  I would brush my hair ever so gently but with each stoke I lost more hair.  Day after day this continued and I became more insecure with each glance at the mirror.  Embarrassed to go out in public, I stayed in most of the time.  I know it sounds shallow, but I was 19, my friends we experiencing the college life yet my life had taken a detour I was not anticipating.  What was God doing in my life now?  I didn’t know at the time but looking back I can see that he was at work in my heart.

Remember our verse from yesterday?  James 1:3-4 says to ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  We have joy when we realize God is chipping away the excess to shape and define who we are at the core to who he really created us to be.

Psalm 139:13-16
¹³ For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

So gone was the long hair and familiar face, for a season, but in that season I discovered that though the outside may change from medications, and now from age, God accepts me, loves me and is still proud to call me his own.  In my sadness I discovered my friends and family still loved me and wanted a relationship with me despite my appearance.  My boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband of 26 years, stayed by my side, wrote songs for me and wasn’t ashamed to be with me.  So many people were praying, sending cards with words of encouragement, and concerned for my well being regardless of my swollen face, weight gain and missing hair.  Even later when I had to go through the appearance distortion again and again, it never fazed my children.  They still wanted me, their mommy, to hold them in my arms.

Genuine beauty flows from the condition of our hearts.  When our hearts are beautiful then so are we.  I am thankful our value isn’t in our outward appearance, if it was we would all lose our value in time.  Our value is found in God’s unconditional, constant love.  He loves us and values us so much that he died for us, rescued us, to adopt us as his own.

As for the little scarecrow, well, he is an annual reminder to me of this… When I complain and criticize myself or my unique appearance I am actually criticizing my Creator.  If I could be so proud of an inanimate object I created, how much more proud must God be of you and me, his very own unique masterpieces?  It’s true, you and I, we are each a masterpiece, hand crafted by the hands of God.

You are Loved!

Julie Curry